Short answer: It’s not for me. I terminated my accounts.
Please note I’m speaking from my experience. Some people found love. Some people found tragedies. As I’m a Christian, I don’t use online dating for sex as I’m waiting til marriage so I specifically used Christian dating sites.
So why did it not work for me? I’ll make a few points with explanations:
They wrote nothing on their profiles
How am I suppose to know what you like? You love Jesus. Fantastic. What about you? There are so many sections to put your favourite movies/music/TV shows/books/food/cooking recipes and what you like to do on a day-to-day basis. The website states you should fill your profile so you’re giving the best version of yourself.
We all have hobbies. We all enjoy something. There’s a Disney movie you loved as a child that you could watch a million times. Where did you last travel to? What are your future holiday plans in 2021-2025. Men are interested in that. I am interested in that! Don’t cut yourself short.
For the men: if what they wrote interests you, use that to steer the flow of the conversation. It shows women you’re interested in them and can hold communication well.
…And this didn’t change when we started talking. It felt like I was oversharing
As much as they say what denomination they follow, role in the church, what they’re looking for in a man… the conversations were hitting road blocks. Relationship talk? Has life paused or did I miss something? What about speaking on politics? Games? Finances? Trending topics on social media? Their culture? That was missing. Everyday relationship talk. Why can’t I get to know you? At times it felt like I had to overshare in order to keep the conversation going.
For the men: get to know them as best as you can. Ask questions. This is someone you’ll potentially spend the rest of your life with. What are the red flags? Can you deal with it? Is there a balance in communication? What do you like about her? By you doing so, you’ll determine if you want to take things seriously or not.
Messaging me but you have no profile picture
I get the notification that someone’s messaged me. I’m anticipated to see how she looks. Then there’s no profile picture. I feel like it’s a waste of time if I don’t know who I’m talking to.
For the men: Do NOT compromise on this! There should be consistency with the profile picture + any additional images they have. It’s the bare minimum. Not to scare you, but you don’t know who you’re speaking with. Be careful if someone is eager to meet you without a picture!
Their profile picture has more than one person and no other pictures
So who on earth am I speaking to? I won’t lie, I don’t bother myself.
For the men: I just…
2D images doesn’t compare to real life
To round it off, you can’t compare online messaging to speaking face-to-face. It’s two different ends of a spectrum. Understand I’m not knocking online messaging. It’s good to observe how they hold conversation.
Once you’ve met the person a few times, normal interaction via phone calls and messages will feel different since you can match it with your experience of her.
I said at the start of this blog that it wasn’t for me. I found my interactions boring. It feels weird speaking to someone online for a long time. I need to meet up with you. I also understand the female’s perspective; they might’ve had bad experiences so they want to delay meeting up to protect themselves.
I need to re-iterate: This is MY experience. The thoughts and opinions shared by Femi is of Femi and Femi only.
Hope you learnt something.