I hate you. Ouch.
I love you. Thank you. I love you too.
I miss you. Aww. I miss you too.
I want you. Wait. You want a whole me?
Four simple phrases. Three have a similar meaning. One means the opposite.
The difference is that our minds are set on remembering words that hurt the most.
It isn’t just about the words – the delivery, place, history and timing are very important.
I’ll break it down:
How you speak depicts a reflection of how much you respect that person, and this tunes out how much you believe in what you say. It’s out of character for me to shout. If I shout that I didn’t like something my friend did, she’ll feel really embarrassed and scared to make a mistake near me.
Using the same example, imagine I’m shouting to my friend in public. Like, Oxford Circus-sort-of-public where everyone knows your business. My friend is an introvert. What! She’ll swallow herself into the ground, petrified, anxiety levels rising, potentially crying. That shows I have zero respect for her. Instead of me to go somewhere private and address what she did, I aired the dirty laundry for everyone to see.
Words hold significance depending on how you’ve matched up to them in your past. You can’t be saying you’re the world’s strongest man if your mum has to open the pickle jar – it doesn’t add up. The impact of your words may mean everything or nothing. Don’t speak without having evidence to back it up, or you’ll sound like an idiot.
We get this wrong. I admit, I do too sometimes. I’m impatient. I want the person to know this situation right now.
No Femi. No, not now. Not yet.
If we learn to time when it’s right, everything else will fall into place. How to know? Find out what’s happening in their life before you drop the bomb.
Think about it this way. You like a girl, but she lost a family member. This isn’t the time to ask her out! Be there for her. Soothe her with your kind words of condolences, apologies and love. When she’s okay and able to get back on with her life… you can warm up to her slowly. Tell her you’re there for her. Eventually the time will be right to ask her out. Of course, this doesn’t apply to all women/situations. Use wisdom.
Communication is powerful. Your voice alone can impact the world in ways you couldn’t imagine. Beyonce could tweet one word and people would run a marathon of just that single tweet alone. Madness.
Don’t take your words for granted. You may be one person, but one person’s words could be the difference between life or death for someone.