I’ve written this to follow up on Size doesn’t matter, bro. If you haven’t read it, I strongly recommend you to do so before reading this.
I want to start by thanking every single one of you for liking, sharing, sending me personal messages and reaching out to me with your addiction. From the bottom of my heart, I’m grateful a little boy like me from London is helping people across the world through my fingertips. Crazy!
So, why a second post about size? Well, the feedback I’ve received was very… interesting. And it’s good to speak on it.
First of all, I want to remind you that you are more than your size. I know I kept banging on it in the first post but seriously… you are unique! Women would never bring it up on the first date either. They want to know you for who you are. Sure, a big penis sounds impressive, but at the end of the day you can’t satisfy her for 24 hours with it. Possibly… 20 minutes? So, what about the remaining 23 hours and 40 minutes of the day?
What about your hobbies, interests, ideologies you believe in, your values, profession, education, mindset, future, how often you bath, colognes you use? That is what keeps a woman around you. If you don’t have any of these and she’s still around you, chances are she’s using you for her own benefit. Ouch.
Okay, onto the main part of the post.
I wrote Size doesn’t matter, bro. because I was affected by porn from the age of 13. I used it as an intermediary to masturbate. It changed me. I was once a guy that couldn’t understand why guys would watch woman’s bums when they walked past.
Then I watched porn.
Then I understood.
I wanted that. I desired that. You see, the problem with what I just wrote was at my mind at the age of 13.
At that age, you’d want to watch your favourite football team Manchester United destroy Arsenal at their home turf. You’d look forward coming home to play your Nintendo Gamecube or computer, go to your cousins house and whoop everyone at 007 Agent Under Fire whilst your auntie is whipping up some fried rice.
My mind slowly started to care more about woman’s bodies in such an unordinary way. All because of how I obsessed with porn. The lies it taught me. The categories became weirder and extreme. Stuff I couldn’t watch before which was uncomfortable became normal later on. The brain wanted more. Dopamine.
Fast forward and I’m in a much better place. I appreciate women better. I love them for who they are. I struggle with porn sometimes, but not at the velocity at ages 13-15. My self control is 100x better. I know I’ll experience freedom soon. I’ve learn’t so much and I’m more satisfied with life.
My request to you reading this. Men. Dads. Grandfathers. Boys. Please:
If you’re a young father, please monitor what your sons are watching. Don’t allow them to lock themselves in their rooms. Porn takes pleasure in secrecy. Put restrictions on the internet or technology with websites and curfews. Find out from your friends what’s currently trending so you can be one step ahead\. Establish a circle of trust between you and your children. At one point, they will stumble across porn. Why? It’s everywhere. The whole point of doing this is knowing they can trust you when they come upon it.
If you’re an old man, it’s not too late. You can seek help. You can tell those closest to you. It will be hard as their way of thinking is very different. Ask someone close to be your accountability partner. The thought of having someone you need to report back everyday will give you an insane level of willpower not to look at porn. Especially if it’s someone you don’t want to let down i.e. your wife.
If you’re a young man, make the effort to remove it out of your life. If you haven’t seen porn yet, that is amazing. Never watch it. Don’t be curious and entrap yourself in a snare so large you won’t be able to escape. You have to start somewhere. If you masturbate 5 times a day using porn, go down to 4 times, then 3 times, then 2, then 1. Start taking baby steps. Cold turkey isn’t for everyone, it could make it worse. Ask someone older than you to keep you accountable.
To my female readers. If you’re reading this, speak to your daughters too. I can’t speak on this but I found an incredible article which speaks on it here. You are not alone.
So what helped me on my road to recovery which I’m still on?
I confessed this to my siblings. I told them everything. The type of porn I watched, how I desired it, how it made me who I was. I started crying to my sister. I was afraid they’d look down on me. I was scared I couldn’t be the big brother that they could rely on. Instead, they had the biggest amount of respect for me. I was shocked. I thought they’d be disgusted.
They support me.
That’s changed me to be a conqueror.
That’s helped me to abstain from porn in better ways I could.
And so has my Bible. I can’t leave God out the picture.
Ask yourself what you can do in this very moment to help break your porn addiction.
I’ve provided some links at the bottom if anyone is looking for help. I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to read this. Some of you will reach out to me & take the advice. I love that. At the end of the day, we operate better when we get help from speaking to someone face to face. Don’t hide behind your computer or phone forever. Take action.
Net Doctor – Porn and Relationships
COSRT (College of Sexual & Relationship Therapists)
Sexual Advice Association
Helpline: 0207 486 7262 & https://sexualadviceassociation.co.uk/factsheets/
Sex Addicts Anonymous