Have you noticed that we don’t do it? There’s always someone or something to blame. It MUST be someone else. Never me. We refuse to ask ourselves “what did I do for this to happen?” Rather, we use our actions to blame others.
Imagine blaming inanimate objects because you can’t lose weight.
Mate. YOU need to take responsibility for what YOU do. Everything we do has consequences, benefits or both. Look at this:
- Buying a car in London and you’re 18? Consequences of this is your insurance will be expensive as you have little driving experience unless you lie that you do, 0 years no claims bonus and you’re stereotyped as a bad driver due to your age.
- Still living with your parents and you’re 30? Benefits is helping out with rent/mortgage at a subsidised cost (or not paying it at all), parents make food, no need to worry about council tax & other bills so you can save a lot of your income. Consequence is that women you date may not take you seriously for living with your parents at 30.
Buying a car or living with your parents is not a bad thing, those are personal choices you’re making. And because of that, whatever action you make is determined by what values you live by.
The Oxford definition of value is principles or standards of behaviour; one’s judgement of what is important in life. When you buy sweets, you value it because it tastes nice. You wouldn’t buy it for the sake of buying it or you’re just greedy. Something motivated you to make the purchase. Why would you write a poem to your wife who loves reading handwritten letters? You know she would appreciate it in the present and future.
Where am I going with this? Simply put: look at your values and ask if it’s harming yourself. Are you harming someone else? Especially women?
Whoa now, women?
I mean, yes? They’re more oppressed than us, and don’t get me started with black women. You could be upholding a value that’s destroying or dumbing down a female you know personally or work with. Why does she have to wear a short skirt to work for 3 months so she can have a promotion? What about her attributes and what she brings to the table? You’re her manager, what about KPIs and any ideas she brought to the business? Is that what you value in a woman? I hope not.
As we’re speaking along those lines, can we remove this agenda of what a woman wears is the reason why she’s raped because that is complete nonsense. Men, how did we come to this conclusion? Why why why.
You value specific type of female clothing to set an ideology to say such rubbish to live by which is making you look stupid, insensitive and can potentially land you trouble with the justice system. You don’t practice self-control. You don’t value the right things about women. What can you do about it? Ask your friends to help you. Your friends will respect you that you’re bringing this up as an issue. Write affirmations to yourself. Speak them boldly to yourself that you will not pry upon a woman no matter what clothes she’s wearing. Start now.
It may sound embarrassing at first, you may think this is ridiculous, grown man like myself speaking like a wannabe in front of a mirror. But, you’re making progress. A woman out there will thank you – they shouldn’t have to thank us, we should be valuing them already!
There is a lot more I can say on this. Men, let’s take responsibility for our actions. Verbal or physical actions have implications no matter how small or big you think they are. Of course, in extreme circumstances you won’t have a choice and may have to act on impulse. That’s not your fault… but be prepared for what will lie ahead.
Inspired by the book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson